Time Marches On

I had to work late tonight and for the first time in almost twenty years, I almost missed the Fair Parade. In hindsight, I'm not sure how I feel about that.

For some reason, the parade didn't have the same sparkle, the same pizazz. Maybe it's because I'm getting older (which is obvious), maybe its because fewer of my kids were involved. Whatever the reason, it just seemed boring. After an hour, it seemed boring and long. After an hour and a half, I was numb. Even the little kids next to us were asking when it was going to end.

I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why some things were even in the parade. There was a kitchen manufacturer's truck pulling a trailer that consisted of people of various ages sitting on a few pumpkins. That's it, nothing else- no sign or anything. Is this supposed to have something to do with kitchens or the fair or what? What connection am I missing here? What's the message? At least if it they were sitting on a HUGE stack of pumpkins you might think "Wow, look at all those pumpkins"... and then watch to see if someone might fall off.

There was the "Vote No on the Biomass Plant" truck that was making me choke from the diesel exhaust as it traveled in fits and starts along with the rest of the parade. Following behind the truck, marching in the fumes, the "defeat biomass" entourage was jabbing signs in the air. At least they looked happy, but it could be that the fumes were getting to them too.

Float after float went by promoting various politicians and political wannabes, including at least two who were running for State Auditor, whatever that is. I'll bet at least a third of this parade was candidates and their groupies. It is an election year, after all. Some candidates marched along the parade route, smiling and waving at those of us in the crowd. This always makes me uncomfortable. I don't know these people and even if I did, no one normal acts like that. Am I supposed to applaud? Am I supposed to wave? Instead, I just try not to make eye contact.

Sure there were clowns and some were even scary. But not in that "It's Halloween and I'm an insane clown who is going to kill you" kind of way, but scary in that "I belong in a police line-up" kind of way. Some of the clowns looked both tired and sad as they gamely tossed candy into the crowd. If they were trying to liven things up, it wasn't working for either of us. (Hint for next year: instead of tossing candy, consider firecrackers).

As the parade trudged on, even Sam was looking to leave. The promise of cheap necklaces or Tootsie Rolls being tossed his way wasn't going to cut it.

Finally, with the end nowhere in sight, a string of at least nine heavy construction vehicles came inching along. No floats, just trucks. Very shiny trucks. I think to myself, "Why I am sitting here watching this?  I could see the same thing at any construction site traffic jam...but with dirt."

That's when we decided to get up and leave. And we weren't the only ones. Throngs of people, many with lawn chairs and little kids in tow were ahead of us making a break for their cars.

I wanted to like the parade more than this but it just wasn't happening. Maybe next year I'll work a little later.