Anyway, I feel like I haven't had any time to think. As summer careens towards it's untimely demise, I feel like the usual deadline of Labor Day is once again approaching way, way too fast. The last several weeks have felt like running a race; a race that turns out to be either a sprint or a relay. I can't really tell.
Starting in the latter part of July, the days have been filled with the usual traditions of trying to figure out Financial Aid and getting loans for those heading back to school. Naturally, at least one school takes us right down to the wire, filling the otherwise pleasant summer days with the stress of wondering if sending someone off to school will be an option or not the coming fall. This year, daily checking and phone calls were made to the college, each one more frantic and borderline desperate than the one before, until I finally knew where where we stood. Then I could start the second phase of trying to figure out how much and how I was going to have to financially deal with it from there. But, I think all is in place... I think.
As the dealings with the schools wound down, I went on to dealing with trying to get Helaina in position to get a car. This had been weaving in and out of the other issues throughout the summer, but now was becoming a more serious problem. School was not far off. A summer of searching but not finding anything affordable has brought us about as close as we can get to the end of the road. She leaves for school in less than a week. But we're almost there. The last few weeks in particular being spent in escalating amounts of communication between the dealer, bank and insurance company. She's done most of the heavy lifting while I have mostly been the coach on the sidelines.Hopefully she'll have her car by Wednesday since she'll be leaving for school on Thursday.
As Helaina winds down on her final lap, Jake is starting to gather all of his most important belongings to head back to school next Saturday. The front hall is packed with his first load. The second load will follow a few days after. I feel bad that I won't be bringing him back to school. I made reservations to see Rachael's play in Stockbridge long before we knew when he was going to be going back, and naturally, it conflicts with his leaving. I wish I could be in two places at once. I don't think it bothers him at all, but it sure bothers me.
In some ways, I guess it's a blessing that things have been so hectic. Lately, in the few quieter moments, I find myself looking over at Helaina or Jake and thinking about the time that's running out. I try to suppress my growing anxiety over knowing the house will all too suddenly be getting even more quiet again. And then I catch myself. It helps greatly knowing that Rachael will soon be coming back home after what seems like too much time away, even if it will be only briefly. And she's going to need some kind of transportation. Which is likely going to mean some frantic car hunting with even greater financial restrictions and an even smaller window to find something than it was with Helaina.
And with any luck, it will give me one more month were I won't have enough time to think.
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