To My Loyal Follower(s)

So, it seems that many of you have been wondering why I haven’t posted lately. “Rick,” you say, “What’s going on? How can we continue to live our pathetic lives vicariously through you if you don’t keep us updated? How can you expect us to make it through our hollow, empty and, yes, shallow existence if we aren’t being distracted by the excitement that only someone like yourself can experience? Don't we deserve at least a morsel of news in order to continue on with our pitiful existence?”

All good questions.

Judging from your insight, you have at least a minuscule amount of intelligence, otherwise why ask such probing questions? Here’s my dilemma: I could answer your requests; satisfy your seemingly insatiable need to hear about my exciting lifestyle and regale you with all the wonderful adventures as you ask. But if I do so, it would be with the knowledge that I continue to draw the sharp contrasts between the life I lead; a life you couldn’t even begin to hope for, versus the pathetic harsh reality you call your lives.

What to do? It is a question that weighs heavily on me. But after giving it close to several anguished minutes of thought, I have decided that rather than immediately get into the glorious details of my recent adventures, which would only serve to make you feel worse than you already deservedly do, I will instead comfort you by sharing with you this little secret: My life is not all glamour.

True, I travel extensively- mostly to grocery stores and flea markets. And yes, I live like a king. But my life also carries with it the burden of leaning against the very pedestal you continually try to put me on; a pedestal that must seem all the higher to you because of the hole you find yourself standing in. Much like you, it is more than one person should have to deal with. Fortunately, it doesn’t bother me all that much.

And because it doesn’t bother me, I will continue, without a second thought, to update this blog as my busy schedule allows. And when following my future posts, you can take comfort in the knowledge that we are not all that different... except for the meaningful stuff.

So until the next time, carry on as best you can, and remember, much like some benevolent god, I will always be looking down on you.