Melting into Dusk

As I sat on the couch the other night, I was thinking about the warm weather that’s finally upon us, and with the quiet of the evening, I found my thoughts drifting back to a couple of springs, many years ago. This was a time when the girls were small and they played softball. I was going to say that this was about 5 or 6 years ago but when I really thought about it, I realized it was closer to 15 years ago or more. I can’t remember exactly how old they were, but it would have been when they were in elementary school.

Helaina was the first to join a softball team. But Rachael came along on just about every practice and game. And Jake came along as well.

When it came to the practices, they were usually held at one of several fields scattered around town. These were fields that I drove by all the time, but I never really noticed they were there. Up until the girls played softball, I never had reason to.

The practice fields were, maybe not quite in disrepair- but seemed borderline neglected. One field was so old, it was hard to get any real sense of where the diamond was. From any distance, the only way you could tell where a plate was, was because one of the players would be standing somewhere near it- marking it like a flag on an overgrown golf course.

There was another field that was in slightly better shape and it even had the luxury of having bleachers. When I wasn’t sitting on the bleachers watching the practice, and when Jake wasn’t off exploring, we would sometimes head down towards the parking lot where there were some rusting basketball hoops, and we would shoot hoops together.

Occasionally Rachael would join us in playing our version of basketball, but she mostly spent her time chasing after the stray foul balls that were getting hit in all sorts of unpredictable directions. I think she worked harder than a lot of the kids “officially” in the outfield, and I think it was because of this that she decided to join a team the following spring.

While the scattered fields showed signs of wear, the multi-field park was a showcase. It was at this park where most of the games and practices took place.

The area consisted of four separate, fenced in fields- all within sight of each other. These fields were joined by a common driveway, with plenty of parking. There was even a snack bar. I don’t remember if there were any bathrooms, but with four fields worth of kids, many of which had one or more parents with them, I’m pretty sure there had to be.

These fields were surrounded by a main road on one side, and the other three sides were surrounded by forests. Towards the back of the fields, there was an even older dirt road which led to a clearing. The clearing was kind of a dumping ground- not of trash and garbage, but of rocks and stumps and tall piles of dirt. I had always assumed, but don’t know for sure, that this was a result of clearing the land for the ball fields.

When we went to games at these fields, Jake would bring along his foot-powered scooter and ride the paths and the dirt piles.

Though many of the games and practices fell on the weekends, many did not. The ones on the weekend allowed for a slightly more leisurely pace in getting gathered up and heading out to the fields, but the ones during the week made for a packed schedule.

When it came to weeknight games, I would rush home from work. The kids would have to wrap up any homework they might have had, and if they weren’t wearing tee shirts and hats already, they would have to run and find them, along with their gloves. I would attempt to throw together something quick for them to eat- usually it would have to be something semi-portable that they could eat along the way.

After loading them in the van, along with the scooter or a basketball, we would take off. 

Once we got to the field, usually the multi- field park, the girls would meet up with their teams and get situated while Jake and I unloaded his scooter. He would be off like a shot and I would stay around to watch as the games began.

Once the ball was rolling (so to speak), I would grab a hot dog at the snack bar. If the game happened to be at one of the other fields, I was out of luck.

As the games went on, my time was divided between watching whichever girl’s team was playing that night, and following Jake down to the clearing to explore and watch him ride his scooter. In the distance, I could hear the cheers and chants and clapping from the various games being played.

I don’t remember the exact times the games started, but I remember many of them didn’t end until well into dusk- at least that was the case with some of the games that my girls played in. I remember one night in particular. All of the fields were full, like usual. Rachael’s team was playing in the field closest to the main road. I stood on the grass between the main driveway and the field, watching as the game went on.

One by one the other games wrapped up, and after the distant crescendo of cheers dissolved into murmurs, a gradual succession of minivans and cars emptied out of the lots and paraded down the dirt covered driveway behind me. The setting sun was now hidden by the surrounding forest and an unnatural quiet fell over the other empty fields.

As twilight melted into dusk, the game stretched on and on and I checked my watch over and over again, straining more each time to see the face of the watch through the increasing darkness.

Finally, the game ended. Whether somebody won or it was called due to darkness, I don’t remember. All that mattered was that it ended. I loaded the kids and the scooter into the van and we headed home. It felt like we were the last ones to leave a party.

Not all game nights were like this, but many were pretty close.

By the time we got back home, there would be just enough time for the kids to wash up and get into bed or, God Forbid, finish any remaining homework they might have.

That left enough time for me to wash up, grab a quick bite (if the hot dogs weren’t available), and climb into bed, too.

I was thinking about this as I sat on the couch the other night- all brought on by the quiet and the warmth of the long awaited summer air. Here it was, about 7:30. I had already taken my shower and I was sitting there on the couch in my pajamas, basically waiting for a respectable time to head up to do to bed. And it got me thinking about those times, and I thought about how, if this were back then, one of the girls would be warming up at the plate right about now, the teams would be chanting, and Jake would be flying around the fields on his scooter.

And I thought about all of this as I sat there on the couch- and I listened to nothing but the silence.