What you see here is a picture from the local combo platter known as the RMV office and the visitors greeting center. Why the state had decided to combine these two unique facilities, I have no idea. But I'm pretty sure it involves budget cuts.
On the downside, this arrangement makes crowds even larger than it would have been at either one of these two facilities. The crown is not unlike the one you might have the pleasure of mingling with, if you're lucky enough to be called for jury duty. This one hay have wont in the "Oder" category though.
On the plus side it offers anyone coming to visit our state, a taste of what it's really like- and if they don't get back in their car and keep driving, it's their own fault.
I had the pleasure of spending a significant portion of my life there today, to get new license plates for what used to be mom's car. It's amazing how slowly time crawls when your there. The thing about the registry is that it seems to have its own time zone. The unique thing about this time zone is that time runs backwards, yet you still get older.
To help pass the time in the long wait, they have a screen in front of you that flashes things such as Hollywood Headlines. They never display any actual headlines, it just keeps playing the words Hollywood Headlines over and over again while you wait and wait and wait. Occasionally the monotony of this is broken up with an advertisement warning you against scamming your car insurance company.
Usually, there were two women behind the RMV counter, allegedly serving the crowd. Occasionally a third woman would come out from some back door, but as soon as she came back, another woman left- apparently to go on break- though it may have been that they were taking turns to look at the crowd through the security monitor out back- and laugh.This patterned maintained the highly efficient customer to employee ration of 157 to 1.
At least you can sit in comfort on the hard maple benches while waiting for your number to be called. I sat there as they called off the numbers, trying to detect some pattern that still eludes me: I107, Z100, E108, A109, I109, C102, A110, B100. On and on it went. These weren't even Bingo numbers.
Every time, as a new number was called, everyone would lean forward, clutching their ticket- as if this time, this time(!) they were going to hit the big one, they were going to be the Big Winner. When it wasn't their number, everyone would slump back against the hard maple seats in unison, glare at the one lucky winner who had just stolen their rightful place at the counter, and wait for the next big spin of the roulette wheel, over and over.
Occasionally while waiting,, a mother would stroll in holding the hand of a young child. Clearly they were looking for the bathroom. But when they see the large crowd the mother's eyes widen and her mouth hangs open and with her stunned expression, you can almost hear herself asking, What are all these people doing here? What are all these benches? Is this the line for the bathroom???
She has no idea what kind of hell she's walked into, and you can see, as she slowly bounces off of every wall- like one of those aimless child toy bumper cars, that she's looking any door that might be unlocked- even if it's just the exit.
This scene plays out several time and it's always the same- someone bounces in through the entry, they hit a wall of confusion and oder and their expression instantly changes. Some wonder aimlessly, some stand in silence trying to decide how badly they really have to go. One woman spent upwards of ten minutes muttering over and over to herself, where's the bathroom- as she wandered around the room aimlessly- even stopping to look inside the occasional trash can.
As I sat on the bench, another woman came in and sat next to me. This woman woman reeked of some kind of combination of stale deodorant and garlic. Sadly, it was actually pleasant by current standards. She sat there for few minutes while I jotted down numbers, then she then asked me if I knew if this was the right place to re-register your boat. I don't have a boat but I'm pretty sure that if you're in line and you don't know whether this is the right place to be or not, it's probably not the right place to be.
I suggested that she check out the paper forms that were at the front, by the door and if they have one of those forms, then most likely, she was in the right place. She thanked me, got up to check for a form, and then came back and sat down. She said there were no forms there, but she chose to wait anyway. I began to wonder if this was something she does everyday, just for the company.
All this time, more numbers were called, Z101, I110, C103 ... Eventually, my number was called and it was my turn to be glared at. But it was all worth it because of the polite, royal treatment I received from the friendly RMV worker. She talked to me like a long lost friend and informed me "no credit cards- cash or check only" and then, when I handed her my check, pointed out that my phone number wasn't printed on it, but, because she was so nice, she accepted it anyway.
I left, triumphant, new plates in hand, still thinking about those numbers. I still can't detect what the pattern is, but I'm pretty sure if I can figure it out, I might win the lottery.
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