Old Friend

I think it's finally time to get a new car. And when I say “new”, I mean “used.” I hate dealing with stuff like this. The gamble of a “new” car and whether it's going to be a lemon or not, the new expenses. It makes me uncomfortable.

When it comes to things like this, I always wonder how this purchase is going to come back and bite me. How long will it be before it breaks down and I find myself standing on the side of the road - most likely a deserted country road. Far from home. With no cell phone service. In a cold rain. At night.

But as bad as the worry of the unknown is, what's even harder for me is getting rid of my car. 

Every car I've ever had, I've had for quite a while, and this one is no exception. I've had this car for eight years. A lot has happened in eight years. Back when I got it, the girls were in college, Jake was still in high school and Sam was still in middle school. Many miles over many years were spent shuttling each of them back and forth to their respective schools or to doctor's appointments or spent running errands. A lot of time was shared in this car and like my other cars, it becomes a part of our history. 

I remember a night, several years ago. Rachael was living out in the Berkshires at the time. One cold, rainy night,  Helaina, Jake and I drove out to pick her up and bring her home for the holiday. (Was it Thanksgiving? Christmas?  I don't quite remember. But that's unimportant) We got there early (naturally), so the three of us killed some time at a rundown department store and then we headed over to the next town, where we loaded both Rachael and her luggage into the car for the ride home.

On the slow ride home, the car was filled with the kind of laughter and conversations that people have when it’s been awhile; the kind they have when they’re glad to see each other. And the scattered silences, as the conversations wind down, are filled with contented smiles. 

And while I don't remember the conversations, what I do remember is the feeling of it all- that we were all together, and we were heading home for the holiday. I remember the sounds of the conversations mixed with the now freezing rain as it hit the windshield, and the rhythm of the wipers as they as they kept their steady beat. And I remember looking in the rear view mirror and seeing the smiling faces behind me, shining in the silvery glow of headlights of the occasional passing cars.

But I digress.

This car is, unfortunately, showing it's age. Over the last few years, certain parts of the interior would break off and I would either have to stick them back on with Velcro, or leave it off entirely. 

It started when whatever the pre-Velcro mechanism is which holds the up driver’s side sun visor, broke. Then, the part in the cup holder that helped my cup stay in an upright position, snapped off - thus allowing my cup to tip onto its side, spilling coffee, every time I turned a corner. Then the “hidden” change holder door broke, so that on certain corners, along with my coffee tipping over, coins would also spill out. Some people would take these things as warning signs. But I took them all as minor losses of conveniences which I really didn't need.

But unfortunately, it hasn’t just been the loss of a few minor conveniences. There have been more and more repairs, coming more and more frequently. And each repair is becoming more and more expensive. And now, along with these ongoing repairs, the mileage has started to plummet, as well. 

Loss of conveniences, more and more repairs, declining mileage - I’m finding this car and I have a lot in common. 

So, with some trepidation and some amount of loss, I realize that I have to give this car up and get another one. I'm hoping this new one will be repair free - at least for a little while. And I hope that, like the other cars - it will be more than just transportation; that it will be a place where we continue to share time together and create new memories.