I Used to Have a Life

Two posts in two years (well, one really). That's because I used to have a life. More to the point, I used to have kids at home and they each had a life. That translated into a life for me. But right now, that feels a little distant.

One child off to college last week, one off to college today and another goes tomorrow. And this is what my life is reduced to: Sitting at the computer while the TV is blaring "Best Of American Idol" in the background. (I'm not kidding... that's a real show. It's the kind of show that typically plays on late Saturdays for shut-ins or people who want to re-live the past glories of folks who almost made it into People magazine. It's the kind of show they fill with commercials where the announcer is asking about your bowel movements the way most normal people ask about your children.)

Today it's playing and its playing loudly. It seems even more grating without the interruption of human conversation or people coming and going. Or Anything.

My one child left at home is upstairs getting ready for bed while I sit here wondering if it gets any better than this. I feel like I'm trying to kick a habit ..."Just get through the day. Tomorrow will be better."... even though I know it's a lie. But that's the way it is with us addicts...we lie. Mostly to ourselves.

Now another commercial is playing, only this time, its about a woman in a car that is stopped for a train moving over a crossing. She's desperate, she NEEDS a bathroom (and, oh great! Wouldn't you know it...it's raining!).

Apparently, these are the target groups of people who stay inside on beautiful Saturday afternoons: those who can't poop, those who can't stop peeing. And me.

We addicts are an eclectic bunch.

It's going to be a long rest of my life.