The Big Apple

As many of my loyal followers are aware, Rachael and I made a lightning trip to New York City this past Sunday. While she went to her auditions, I was free to take in the sights and smells that only this World Class City can offer. Once I recover from all of the excitement, I may decide to write a little bit about it. Until then, feast your eyes on these breathtaking, heart stopping pictures below of The City That NEVER Sleeps! Enjoy!!!!

Times Square, the very epitome of American Culture. Drink it in my friend. Drink it in.

Hungry? Well, get ready to feast... at an authentic Sbarro! This city does indeed specialize in ethnic cuisine, as only New York can! I'm getting hungry all over again.

Here's a crowd lining up for an honest to goodness BROADWAY SHOW!!! I can't remember the name of it, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't "Live! Girls! Girls! Girls!". That one was playing a couple of blocks over.

Next to food and entertainment, what is New York famous for? That's right, Fashion! Nothing but the finest synthetic leopard skins are right here in NYC!

This was going to be Number One in a series I was planning to call "Sewers of New York City". That was before I discovered that all the sewers pretty much looked the same. By the way, since when do we buy our sewer grates from India? This is almost the capital of America, damn it. We should be buying them from our own sewer grate manufacturers!

Bummer! You mean to tell me I came all the way to New York City only to find out Spandex World is closed???

No wonder they call this "The Greatest City in the World"! Mail delivery on Sundays?!! No way!!!

This was kind of a downer. Sponge Bob panhandling on the streets of Time Square. Hang in there buddy!

And finally, what trip to New York City would be complete without seeing the Statue of Liberty? Over 125 years young and still looking good! You go girl! USA! USA!

Rolling Along, Part Two

I made a comment below regarding Helaina and how quickly time has passed. When I wrote it, I was mostly thinking of her time in college. Last Friday was her graduation and as I sat in the crowd waiting for the ceremony to begin, I again thought back to the yesterdays we spent looking at schools together, including the first time we visited the school she is now leaving. As I sat there waiting for the ceremony to begin, reflecting on how quickly this has gone by, I noticed a little girl in front of me, maybe three years old.

This little girl was behaving as well as any kid this age could be expected to when brought to this kind of event. She's playing in and out of her seat, and she's talking to an older woman that I assume is her grandmother. After a while, this little girl takes out a small toy she brought along to play with. As she's turning it over and over with her left hand, I notice her right hand loosely draped on the back of her chair. While this little girl didn't particularly remind me of Helaina, strangely enough, her hand did.

I had forgotten about the shape of a child's hand when they're this age. Or maybe it's just that I never have had much reason to think about it. I had forgotten how short the fingers are in relation to the rest of the hand, and how slightly plump the whole hand is. I had forgotten how delicately the fingers flit about, and how they have a quality like an insect's antenna, gently playing with the air without any thought. I sat somewhat transfixed by this, surprised that I had forgotten.

I thought about all the times Helaina had grabbed onto my finger when she was younger than this little girl. I thought about how gently I would have to hold her hand as she got a little older, first when she was learning to walk and then later as we would take walks together.

It's been years since Helaina has had to hold my hand and I would be lying if I said I didn't miss those days. But as the band starts to play and she and the others file in, I am brought back to the moment. I think about the lifetime ago when she needed my hand to walk and how grateful I am to have been able to hold her hand back when I had the chance.

On the Road

This weekend, Rachael has auditions in Connecticut and New York. Because of this, I have just finished making reservations for a stay at a beautiful economy motel in southern Connecticut. The name of this palace will remain anonymous in an effort to avoid any potential lawsuits. Out of all the hotels that approached fitting my budget, this one, according to online reviews from past customers, seemed to strike the right balance between bedbugs and prostitution. Sure, there were the usual comments like, “STAY AWAY!” or “NEVER AGAIN!!”, but you have to take those with a grain of salt. Who’s going to believe someone with a name like “Sally from Nova Scotia”?

My biggest concern, aside from price, was wondering if I was booking us into some kind of crack house. But except for one malcontent named “Henry”, no one seemed to have much to say about the drug dealers. And even “Henry” admitted that the police did eventually show up.

One person took exception to the appearance of the place, little things like dirty windows and holes in the walls. Is that all? I wish my house was that nice. Someone else complained about the “threadbare carpets”. Give me a break. If you don't like the carpet, you should have paid the extra charge to sleep on a bed.

Even with these minor inconveniences, I look forward to staying in room that has such advertised amenities like a TV and a desk. I’m not sure if there’s a bathroom, but we’ll deal with that when we get there. After a long day, all I’m looking forward to is a floor to lay down on. It will feel good to kick back and relax under the desk, at least until it’s my turn to watch out the window and see if the car is getting broken into.

Alas, after only one brief night, Rachael and I will be moving on to NEW YORK CITY where she will have her final two auditions of the month. We’ll be moving on, that is, assuming my car hasn’t been stolen the night before because one of us fell asleep on their watch (thanks a lot, Rach).

I’m sure Rachael will do a great job, like usual. But I think I’ll deserve at least some of the credit by allowing her to get infested with bedbugs along the way, thereby enhancing her monologues with some sweet moves.

You’re welcome Rachael.

Rolling Along

I cannot believe how fast it has gone by...

Sweet Dreams!

Have a child that's afraid of the dark? What better way to comfort them than switching on a night light that looks like a jar full of bees?

The Downfall of Western Civilization

What is the point of this? The opening at the flip-top is almost exactly the same size as the opening in the top of the jar, so what purpose does it serve? Why introduce this? Could it be because we are so in love with our fake bacon bits that we are not willing to spend the extra 2.5 seconds that it takes to unscrew the lid (I timed it)? Or perhaps there is some segment of the human population that has lobbied the fake bacon bit industry because they don’t know how to unscrew jars and they are therefore being unfairly discriminated against in their love for fake bacon bits.

Maybe this large opening is just the beginning. Maybe the fake bacon bit industry is starting off with a large opening, hoping to dupe the American People into thinking "No big deal", while planning on making it smaller each year, figuring that we won't notice. Is this an attempt, by way of some foolish government mandate, to interfere with our Constitutionally Protected Right to consume fake bacon bits?

What is wrong with this damn country?

Movies I Won't Be Seeing

I don't really care one way or the other about  Dolly Parton or Queen Latifah. The little I know of them, they seem like fine, even funny, people... at least when they're not in movies. But I can't for the life of me figure out who would want to go see their movie "Joyful Noise". Who the hell is going to shell out whatever it is to go to a movie nowadays and sit through all 118 minutes of this? I'm not sure why, but I feel like this movie is designed to appeal to the same crowd that has forced movie theaters to offer big plates of nachos as a snack.

Are glee clubs still 'in"? This concept strikes me like it's trying to jump on the "Glee" bandwagon. The problem is I think that bandwagon left town about a year and a half ago. I also take issue with the name, "Joyful Noise". It seems, at the least, misleading. But I guess maybe they're half right. From what I've heard on the TV commercial (which played about 30 times in the two hours I was watching TV), it sounded "joyful" in the same way that a high pitched dentist drill sounds joyful. A dentist drill that needs oil. A lot of oil. As it's boring into your jaw.

The movie's description on Yahoo! begins with this nugget: "The small town of Pacashau, Georgia, has fallen on hard times, but the people are counting on the Divinity Church Choir to lift their spirits by winning the National Joyful Noise Competition." Gee, I wonder how this movie is going to end? How. Will. It. End??? Another ad for this suspenseful drama is proclaiming it as the "feel good movie of the year." Considering this is only mid-January, I don't imagine the competition is all that stiff... though I expect that chipmunk movie is probably giving them a run for their money.

Even more of a puzzler is trying to figure out who would put up the money to make this future classic. I went back to Yahoo! and apparently there are close to 35 businesses that comprise the "production company" that's responsible for this. Is it normal for this many companies to be involved, or are there so many because they could only get a couple of bucks from each of them? And for some odd reason, two of these companies are something called "Mario's Catering." Why do they get double billing? Was there one there for Dolly and another one for Queen?

I can't do this justice. You need to read the full, breathtaking description here. Make sure you don't skip the second paragraph that introduces the character named "Randy" (subtle), and the "friction" (their word, not mine) that ensues. One warning though: if you do decide to go see it, be careful. It's rated PG-13, due in part to "a sexual reference". Oooo. I'm guessing it has something to do with "Randy".

Tools of the Trade

Today was a "Shop Day" for Sam at the Tech School, and like I do every day, I asked him how his day went. "Good", was the response. Again, pretty much like every day. This is usually just the opener. We both knew the hard part was coming next: trying to get some of the details.

This can be a little tricky. Sam's come a long way, but his vocabulary can be limited and word retrieval can be really hard for him. I want to encourage him and I want him to take some risks, but I don't want it to be a complete exercise in frustration for him.

"So, what did you do?", I ask
His face gets that stressful look. "Well...", he says, thinking. "We got to make some pine cone bird feeders!"
"Oh, that's great." I said.
"Uh huh, yeah, and I got to use one of those thingys", he says, making a squeezing motion with his hand. "I never thought I would get to use one of those! You know, you put the metal things in it?" He pinches his fingers and makes a couple of short, drawn out motions.

I have no idea what he's talking about and judging by the look on his face, it must be evident by the look on mine. So I try to act nonchalant. I try to get him to take his time.

"I forget the name." he says, "I think it has 'frog' in it."

Frog in it? Now I'm really lost. I try to make a couple of guesses, but I'm wrong and he's clearly getting a little frustrated at trying to find the words. "You know, it holds things together" he says. I make another guess or two, but I'm wrong again.

Finally, I suggest that he draws a picture. As he starts drawing, it immediately becomes clear.
"Oh", I say, "a rivet gun!"
"Yeah!", says Sam.

Sam's "Ribbet" Gun

Now I get the 'frog' part.

Cutting Edge News

I used to find interesting news links and political comment in The Huffington Post. It's still in there to some extent, but the site is a lot more lame than it used to be. I'm not sure why this has happened. Maybe it's a side effect of being bought by AOL and if it is, I wonder: is it deliberate or sheer ineptitude.

This is a screen capture of the top headlines showing up in my news reader this morning:

Headline of the Day

I can't wait to get home so I can read about "Kim K's Bold New Look" !!!!

Happy New Year

I have officially entered my post holiday depression. What better time to start putting away the Christmas decorations? I always hate doing this. And I know I'm going to hate doing it as I'm putting them out in the first place. But back then I figure "Hey, that's a whole month away! Christmas is coming!"

Now the month has come and gone. Everyone has headed in their separate directions.

Blah.