Times Change

Years ago, I was too cool to appreciate something like bluegrass music.

Thank God I'm not cool anymore.

Long Weekend

What better way (i.e. more American way) to celebrate the long holiday weekend than by checking out the Walmart "Sausage and Bacon" link.

I'm up to item 73 out of a total of 355. Pretty sure I'll get through them all by the time the weekend is over.

Saturday

Things Seen on Today's Walk

1) A Danskin left by the train tracks.
2) A cheesy, fake black mustache laying on the bike path.
3) A love letter, lost or discarded, in the bushes by the brook.

I brought one of these back with me...

Getting Ready for Summer

After seeing multiple ads on TV and in the Sunday paper, I have been persuaded by the experts that I need to "tighten up my mid-section".  In my case, this means everything below my hairline. Before I make the leap though, I need to know: a) Do I start at my head and work down or at my feet and work up, and b) Does this have to involve diet and exercise or can I achieve the same miraculous results using only those pills and creams they keep talking about?

I refuse to commit until these questions are answered.

Question of the Day

You can count on one hand the times I’ve participated in online polls. I’m not sure why websites have them but I see them a lot. It must have something to do with finding out what published stories are most popular so they can promote more of the same and generate ad revenue.  Usually though I glaze right by them.

But today I was reading an article on a website about the health struggles of Robin Gibb, a member of the BeeGees. It seems he’s recently come out of a nine day coma. The coma was brought on by a bout of pneumonia associated with his fighting cancer. The article goes on to chronicle his symptoms and his struggles, with his doctor giving him a “50-50 chance”... of survival, I’m assuming. Very sad stuff for any individual to go through. Sadder still for any family member who might happen to read it, on top of their having to experience it.

What really gets me is that at the bottom of this the page, after the article is the following blurb: “Gibb was strong enough to come out of the coma -- do you think he can keep on fighting? Tell us on Facebook.”

Is it me or is this inappropriate?

An Apology

I would like to extend my sincerest apologies to the young woman who's car I nearly ran into the other day. After giving it a lot of thought, I have come to understand that it was I who was clearly in the wrong and it was you, Chunk Style, that was the innocent victim in the near mishap.

I realize now that it was foolish of me to expect you to stop your car as you pulled out of the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru and onto the road. You were absorbed in a new relationship and I failed to appreciate it. I should have been more sensitive to the fact that you were in love; that rare, donut kind of love that judging from the size of your face, only occurs several times a day.

No wonder you looked at me in anger, your gaping pie hole spewing what I can only guess were well deserved obscenities at me as I swerved to avoid you. I regret glaring back at you in anger as I jerked my car to the side of the road, only to see you peel away in the opposite direction. I hope you didn't spill any of that scalding coffee on your presumably ample lap.

I was completely in error. I must have been shaken by nearly running my shopping cart, only moments earlier, into Angry Looking Hardware Store Girl who darted out of one of the isles while I was grocery shopping. Perhaps it was the remarkable similarities of the experience that threw me. Unfortunately, you, in your bloated innocence, were the one who almost paid the price for my error in judgement.

Instead, thinking only of myself, I interfered in your honey glazed, double-dipped, jowl sustaining donut enjoyment. I should have been more sensitive to your needs.

Please forgive me for being so self-absorbed.