Friday, May 30, 2014

Friday Night Video

I see Robert Morse was in the news this past week. I always wondered what happened to him. I guess he's had a role in TV' s "Mad Men". If I bothered to watch the stack of Mad Men DVD's I have over on the shelf, I might have known that- but I'm saving them and about a hundred others for- I have no idea what for.

I always kind of like him. But the weird thing is, I have no idea why. I'm sure I must have seen him in more than one movie, but only one stands out- and even then, like most of my memories, it's pretty fragmented.

On one of my family's well documented trips to Asheville one summer, our family stayed at a nearby camp called Kanuga. I've surfed for information about this place and apparently it's a Christian camp. I'm kind of surprised by this. I'm not sure why they let us in- unless we were riding on Nona's coat tails.

Anyway, putting us up in this camp turned out to be a wise move on Nona's part because as I recall, it pretty much rained the entire time we were there. And the only thing worse than having a family of seven crash at your place for the summer would have been having a family of seven crash at your place while it rained constantly.

Because it was always raining, there were limited things to do. One of the activities they had was a craft building. I remember my sister Karen carving a pretty decent looking castle out of a block of clay. And I remember making an acceptable robot out of clay that looked remarkably like a brick with arms.

But other than that, and eating candy at night in a sleeping bag borrowed from my aunt, I only remember a couple of other things entertainment-wise. Both had to do with movies. And since it was back in "those days", we're talking real film- reels, a projector and a screen- the whole deal.

One movie was Disney's "Alice in Wonderland". For some reason, they showed this late at night. I remember the film getting stuck and melting and finally all sorts of people hovering around the projector like bees on honey until finally we gave up and walked back to our cabin in the dark and pouring rain.

The other movie was late at night too. This movie was called "The Loved One" staring Robert Morse. I was shocked to find out many years later (i.e.: this past week), that it was a comedy. Why? Because the only scenes I remember are of some guy who had hung himself from the swimming pool's diving board and he's just dangling there, and another scene of some obese woman in bed gorging herself on food, including stabbing a fork in some roasted bird's eye. All of this before we had to walk back to the cabin in the cold dark rain.

As you watch the following clip, imagine that you're somewhere around ten years old, sitting in a dark shelter out in the woods at night as the rain pours down around you. Imagine walking back to the cabin in the cold, dark rain after the movie is finally, mercifully over and then getting back to the cabin so you can hide as deep in your sleeping bag as you can get. Thank God I had some candy.

Man, they don't make comedies like this anymore. Enjoy!


Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Today's Non-Complaint

I've been doing so much griping lately, I should balance it out with something a little more positive. So, with that in mind, I just want to mention that it's been great having all the kids home these last few weeks. I wish it was longer, but I'll take what I can get.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Today's Complaint

Is Stop & Shop trying to put itself out of business?

First of all, they have paper bags but if you ask for paper, they act as if they're highly offended. The bagger glances over at the cashier like, "Can we do that?". Not a lot of places offer paper bags, at least around where I live. It seems like it would be a good way to distinguish yourself from the competition. I understand that it must be an added expense, so charge me the extra nickel a bag, or whatever it is.  And if you don't want to offer them, fine. Be like everyone else. But stop keeping the paper bags there and then act like I'm a criminal if I ask for them.

They've also stopped emailing circulars. Is this really a big expense? How much effort does it take to send out mass emails? I know that I can log onto their site and check things out- but why bother? Why would you make it more difficult to get people to shop there?

I went shopping there today. I was going to pop in and out- even though I had no idea what was on sale. I ended up with two items and it took me close to twenty minutes to check out. Why? Part of the reason was because they had the newbie on the Express Lane who managed to jam the check from the customer ahead of me, into the register. But also it was because they had all of four registers open. (This doesn't include the "Let's-Screw-The Cashiers-Out-Of-A-Job Self Service Registers, but still, even those were packed). This would be bad under normal conditions, but today's a holiday- so the store was even busier.

I have fond memories of shopping there, especially when the kids were small. It was like a little outing, me pushing all the kids in the carriage, like it was a little clown car at the circus. But lately, it's becoming more and more of an ordeal.


Sunday, May 25, 2014

Interlude

Rachael was singing something with this same tune today, except it wasn't this song- and it didn't have the explosion at the end.


Friday, May 23, 2014

Friday Night Video

I get emails all the time that are trying to sell me one thing or another. Some of these I look at, and some of them I don't. One of the emails that I get on a daily basis is from Best Buy. They call it their Deal of the Day. I think over the course of a few years, I've bought maybe a couple of memory cards and possibly a CD and a DVD. Never had too much to complain about. Until now.

A week or so ago, I ordered some software and it arrived the other day. I didn't have time to install it the day it arrived. I installed it the next day. It’s an updated version of some software that I already use and I figured it would be worth getting since it was at a pretty decent price.

So I go to install the software, but before I do, I figured I should uninstall the previous version- just so things will go extra smoothly.

As soon as that was done, a sign of trouble came when I looked at the box. There, in the upper corner, was a sticker that said “This software will not work until purchased and activated at the register”. This was under the label of “Theft Protected”.

I figured a company like Best Buy, which specializes in electronics, does this kind of thing in their sleep. So, I proceeded to install the software. I put the disk in and pretended to read the software agreement, I checked the little box and entered in the 400 character serial number. The trouble came when the next box came up and wanted to verify this code. I got the following error:


It was obvious that the software had never been properly scanned at the register and therefore it was never activated. I searched my emails for the receipt and called the 800 number for Best Buy's customer service (actually, 877 number). After a recorded warning that my call may be recorded, which I have since decided is either baloney, or if they are recording it, it’s only being done for their break-time entertainment, I got through to a woman who was actually quite helpful.

When I deal with something like customer service, I really do try to be patient. I figure that whatever the problem is that I have, is not the fault of the person on the other end of the phone, and as long as they're trying to be helpful and as long as they're being polite, I figure, hey they’re doing their job. This could very well be one of my kids someday, so a little patience wouldn't kill me.

So the helpful customer service service agent tried to remedy the situation in various ways, but nothing seemed to be working. I'm not sure she had the best grasp of what the problem was, but she was working at it. Eventually she decided that the solution may be for me to bring the software to my local Best Buy and maybe they could scan it. She put me on hold and tried to get a hold of someone in that particular store. But somewhere around 20 minutes into the call, I got cut off.

I tried calling back but instead of getting the enthusiastic and helpful customer service agent that had cut me off, I instead got a hold of someone who really didn't belong in customer service. I have absolutely nothing against people that speak English as a second language. After all, they’re doing better at my language than I would ever do at their’s. But the thing is, if somebody struggles with English, and they’re in a predominantly English speaking country (sort of, anyway), perhaps customer service is not the best position for them to be in. I’m not really sure that that’s their fault.

The woman that answered the phone tried to be helpful. At least I think she did. Between her badly broken English and what sounded like her using a phone from the 1970's, it was pretty hard to tell.

By the way, It seems to me that that if you claim to be experts in electronics, you should invest in some decent equipment for your employees, rather than the apparently bargain basement rejects your customer service agents are stuck with.

Anyway, I started at the beginning, again, explaining every step, just as I had to the previous woman. I could tell that this woman clearly didn't know what I was talking about. It certainly didn't help with the connection continually breaking up in between being garbled.

Still, I felt like there was some possibility that we were heading toward a possible resolution, but this woman couldn't understand me any better than I could understand her. Trying to explain how I had software that needed to be activated at the cash register was a nearly impossible task.

At one point she offered me a refund, at least I think that's what she was saying. I tried telling her that there was nothing wrong with the software, it just needed to be activated. She asked me if I had already opened the package. Of course I had already opened the package. How did else would I know that it wouldn't install? What was she thinking? Was she thinking I was trying to shove the entire box into the DVD Drive?

My frustration was growing and I could tell her's was well as well. She was going to talk to her supervisor and call me back. I told her I was leaving in 10 min. She called me back about a half an hour later. I was gone and Sam took the message.

When I came home, I called customer service back and got yet another person. Once again, I had to start at the beginning- my name, my address, the whole nine yards. By this time I'm getting thoroughly irritated about all of this. It seemed fairly simple. The software says it needed to be activated at the register and it never was. Why was this so hard to understand? Where is the Geek Squad? Finally, the woman said she would look into it and send me an email. Fine, you do that.

At this point I tried to call the Best Buy down at the local mall. After the usual forty rings, giving up and calling a second time, somebody finally picked up. The young woman who answered asked how she could help. I explained what the problem was. She listened and said she needed to talk to her supervisor- then she put me on hold. After several minutes she came back and I had to explain the problem again. She had to talk to her supervisor again. When she came back, she told me that the problem was that I had to register the software. I explained to her that I couldn't register the software until I installed it and I couldn't install it because it hadn't been activated. This was the same conversation that I had with the woman before her and the woman before that. She put me on hold again and went to talk to her supervisor- again. When she got back, she told me that the problem was that I had to register the software. By this time I'm boiling- I’m trying to tell her that this was not the issue... but thanks anyway. She gave me an 800 number to call for the software manufacturer, and thanked me for being a valued customer.

I figured I had nothing to lose by trying to call the phone number, so I made the attempt.

Let's take a break for a minute. You want to have some fun? Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you the phone number and have you make the call- but before I do, I want you to pretend that you've talked to several different people, explaining the same problem over and over again, and these people have no idea what you're talking about. Also, pretend that you have been dealing with this off and on for close to two hours. One other thing- you’ll need to know that the name of the software is Paint Shop Pro and it's made by Corel. This will be important when you make the call.

Okay, so just to review: you have a program called Paint Shop Pro. It has not been activated where you purchased it, and therefore you have not been able to register it. Okay, Ready? Here's the phone number: 1-877-582-6735. If you're reluctant to call, don't worry. You will never have to talk to an actual person. What you will get is a typical menu for possible solutions to possible problems- none of which will apply to you.

Go ahead- try any menu item you want. You're not going to find a solution. And if you're anything like me, after the third or fourth try, you might try dialing "0" in hopes of getting an actual person. What you'll get instead is a recording telling you that you have made an invalid selection and a "Goodbye", before they hang up on you. Ha! Mindbender! Keep trying, it's like a rubix cube of customer service.

So by now, I've talked to 3 or 4 different Best Buy employees, and I've called Corel’s customer service and I was no closer to getting this thing to work. I finally decided to give Best Buy’s customer service one last chance, so I went back to my email to find the 800 number. Lo and behold, I had another email from Best Buy- in response to my last phone call to their customer service. This new email gave me the phone number to Corel- which was the number I just tried calling. It also gave me a link to a video on how to install the software. I watched the video just for the hell of it, and it was great- as long as the software had been Activated At The Point Of Purchase. Which. Mine. Had. Not.

By now, I was so thoroughly frustrated, I began to bang out a reply to this email using a judicious mix of upper and lower case characters. I explained to them how Corel was not the problem- the problem was Best Buy. Let me quote from my email: “IT HAS NOT BEEN ACTIVATED AT THE POINT OF SALE. Note that the message says to contact the vendor (YOU)! It is still not working. This is the error:..” , at which point I included a screenshot of the error message (see image above). I sent the email. 

Then I realized that the image didn't attach- so I had to send another email. I stressed that this was all their fault.

Several hours later, I get a response from Best Buy apologizing for the difficulties. They offered to give me a credit. What I really wanted is an apology and an admission that they were all wrong and not worthy of my patronage. I accepted the credit. They thanked me for being a valued customer.

Best Buy could have just left me swinging in the breeze, but they did indeed refund my money, so I have to give them that. But geez people- you’re supposed to specialize in this stuff. This is supposed to be your thing.

Anyway, at this point, I've re-installed the old software, and the new software is back in the box, sitting on my desk where it will gather dust until I can stomach the idea of throwing it away.

All of this leads, somewhat, to tonight’s video. Substitute the software for the copy machine...

Friday, May 16, 2014

Friday Night Video

I think I'm still recovering from the events of the last several weeks- starting with driving down to Kentucky to get Rachael through Jake's graduation and moving them both back home. This week should be better, though we do have an IEP meeting for Sam mid-week. I'll get caught up soon.

In the mean time, here's some drone footage taken at Cape Cod...

Friday, May 9, 2014

Friday Night Video

For Mother’s Day, we have a video that was taken in the same general area where Mom grew up- which was Asheville (or more precisely, Biltmore), North Carolina. I'm not suggesting you watch the whole video- it's kind of long, but it gives you a real good idea of how beautiful the area is. In my opinion, it’s one of the prettiest parts of the country (and this is coming from someone who’s driven through probably at least a half dozen states).

I have a lot of fond memories from my summers in the Asheville area- many of which I've written about here before. But one of my fondest memories is from about twenty-five years ago.

Mom was down at her sister Ellie’s house in Asheville. Ellie was getting ready to move into a retirement community and this meant whittling down the amount of things she could take with her- many of which had been in their family for years. It’s always tough to get rid of stuff when memories are attached to them. And it’s even harder when, unlike my stuff, they’re actually nice things that people might want.

So the plan was that Mom would fly down and Ellie and Mom would rent a van and I would fly down to load it up with at least the mammoth corner hutch, and then drive it back home with Mom.

When I got to Asheville, we went to pick the up the van, and it turns out the guy at the rental place had forgotten to hold it for us. As “luck” would have it though, he happened to have a box truck available. The good news was that it was a bigger truck than the van and we would be able to bring a lot more stuff back with us. The not good news was that the truck was a clunker. As we soon learned (“soon” as in trying to drive it off the lot), it would stall whenever it slowed down. To make it even better, trying to start it again was nearly impossible. Apparently, the old war horse had been beaten too many times and just wanted to go off somewhere to die.

We made it back to the house, stalling several time along the way, and since the truck was big, we were able to pack not only the large corner hutch, but a cement garden bench, the yard swing and a whole bunch of other stuff as well. By that evening, we were packed to the gills.

The night before we left, we went out to dinner at Little Pigs Barbeque, which, by the way, is perhaps the finest dining experience east of the Mississippi. Afterwards, we went back to Ellie’s to relax since we would be leaving early the next morning.

Somewhere around four or four-thirty, Mom and I took off into the early morning darkness after saying our goodbyes to Ellie. The truck protested right from the beginning.

As we headed out, I found that whenever we slowed down, I had to use my left foot to work the clutch and rock the heel of my right foot on the brake while I pumped the gas with my right toes. The truck would still cough and sputter, but at least it stayed alive- barely. Still, it was better than the alternative. I knew that if we stalled, we might not be able to re-start it, and that meant that I might have to send Mom into the middle of the highway with a flashlight to flag down semis for help. I sure didn’t want that to happen. Plus, I didn’t relish the idea of being in the breakdown lane with trucks whizzing by while having to offload all of the stuff from this truck onto another one- or more to the point, having to make Mom do it. Thankfully, that didn’t happen.

Regardless, it was a pretty long drive home. But aside from nursing the truck the whole way back and worrying about whether or not we were supposed to be pulling into weigh stations, and having a sore back, it was actually kind of a fun trip.

What I particularly remember was a point early on when we were sputtering up a steep mountainside. We were pretty high up and I tried to hide my nervousness about whether or not we were going to make the rest of the climb. I looked over past Mom and I saw that the sun was just beginning to rise- and it was beautiful. The glow silhouetted the mountains in the distance, and stray rays of the golden sunlight lit the fog which nestled in the valleys. I thought about how beautiful it was and how lucky I was to share this moment, and this adventure, with Mom.

And I checked the flashlight one more time… just in case.



Wednesday, May 7, 2014

A Lovely Song

Though not the same performance, I heard this on NPR on the ride home yesterday...



And if you have the time, you can listen to the interview here.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Back Home

Well, I'm back... for better or worse. Rachael and I left Louisville yesterday morning about 7:30 or so and headed on our way. For whatever reason, the GPS decided that it would be better if we returned via a route that was different than the one which brought me there. I'm not sure why it does this and if anyone could give me a reasonable explanation, I would appreciate it.

Our "normal" route takes us on an excruciatingly long path through the length of the beautiful state of New York. The "new" route instead took us through the even more excruciating, but just as beautiful state of Pennsylvanian. It was somewhere along this point that I realized something was amiss. Instead a brief cut running parallel to Lake Erie, we were spending way too much time in the state. It's not that I minded it so much as I had the sinking feeling that it was going to eventually send me over the George Washington Bridge into a quagmire much like my return trip from North Carolina.
It didn't as it turned out, but it was still a long ride- about fifteen hours including pit stops.

I had rented a lovely hotel room for my ride down. It was, as it turns out, about an hour and a half to two hours from Rachael. Some people might rent a place halfway through their route to split the driving equally. That's not what I do. I don't look forward to driving, and I typically want to get as much of it over with as soon as I can. I look at my route and figure out what I think might be the absolute limit of what I can stand driving in one day, and then look for a hotel. That way, the anvil of the next day's travel weighs less over my head.

For the ride back, I hadn't reserved anything. I didn't know where we would end up- though this obviously had nothing to do with my unanticipated new route. I didn't rent anything because I didn't know how much driving we would be able to stand. The previous two days encompassed a drive of a little more than nine hundred miles total, plus packing and loading up than van- not to mention anything else we might find time to do. I figured it was better to play it by ear.

It turns out that driving home with Rachael is a lot more fun than driving alone. I say this as if it were a surprise. It wasn't. But the result is that time feels like it goes by, maybe not faster, but easier.

As dinner approached and we drove on, we talked of stopping to get something to eat- more out of obligation than hunger. We first pulled of to a little subway shop/gas station on a dead end that had a kind of creepy feel to it. We filled up the van- and left. After many miles of Are you hungrys and I'm doing fines, we pulled off another exit to look for the apparently non-existent diner that was advertised at the exit ramp.

So we went on. By this time, we were about three hour from home according to my GPS. But my GPS had lied to me before. Still- "Let's go a little further" slowly brought us to an hour from home. At some point along this hour from home, I seriously considered looking for a place to spend the night- not because I was tired, but because we were getting back "too quick". We didn't stop though and ended up getting home sweet home about ten-thirty last night.

The weight of the last few days caught up with me when I got in the door. I went upstairs to peek at Sam, who was fast asleep (my test is I put my hand on him and cover him up. If he doesn't move, I blow him a kiss. If he doesn't blow one back, he's asleep).

So I sat an unwound for a bit, wondering why I rushed to get back- which I guess had to do with the weight of driving hanging over my head. If I had to do it over though, I would have stopped somewhere. Maybe for a couple of nights.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Friday Night Video

I'm still on my road trip, but hey, remember last week when I mentioned that I saw a film at the Johnson Wax Pavilion while at the New York World's fair? Well, here it is, and it's surprisingly not too bad.