Thanksgiving Rundown

Thanksgiving is typically a time for our family to get together to catch up on the past and make plans for the future. The meal offers an excuse to sit around the table together and enjoy each others company- something that happens with less and less frequency. It's also the start of the holiday season and thoughts for getting and decorating a tree are discussed in relaxed conversations that take place somewhere between the main meal and desert, as people stretch back and relax and listen and talk, and think about how good it is to be together. At least, that's how it is most years. This year was a little different.

I took Wednesday off from work- the excuse being that I could get a little Christmas and food shopping done. But the reality was that it left me free to be "on call" for when Jake let me know to pick him up from college- which turned out to be around 10:30. After getting Jake, we headed home with his laundry and his sore throat, for which we made a doctor's appointment later that afternoon (the throat that is, not the laundry). Before the appointment, Jake took a two hour nap while I picked up Rachael from her  work and then put out decorations and baked pies and party mix for the guests that ultimately wouldn't be coming to visit after tomorrow's dinner.

After Jake's nap and after his doctor's appointment, we went to the local CVS and waited for them to fill his prescription. In CVS time, this took "10 to 15 minutes". In real world time, it was close to an hour. We headed home in the darkness and I finished the last of my baking for the night.

I awoke at 6:00 to a bright, sunny Thanksgiving morning and I crawled out of bed to prepare the three turkeys- one big one for our tiny oven, and two small ones for the smoker (which was likely to be at least an all day affair). I had planned to do this figuring we would be having guests later, and since we would be around all day, it would be the perfect time. Plus, I like making soup from the smoked turkeys- even though I have more in the freezer than I know what to do with. An hour so later, as I was wrapping up, Jake came downstairs having had an awful nights sleep. There was some dispute as to whether this was due to his sore throat, his sweat pants or his crummy mattress but it seems likely it was a combination of all three. He went back to sleep on the couch. Soon after, Sam came down and busied himself quietly so as not to wake his brother.

Midmorning was the usual brief calm before the storm- the turkeys had been consigned to their fate and it wasn't quite time to assemble the second tier players of mashed potatoes, yams and other various vegetables. Rachael had expressed a desire to cook a couple of vegetables, which was more than fine with me. This would have to wait until after she and Jake made a brief visit to the high school football game.

Before Rachael and Jake left for the game, Helaina and Paul stopped by for a quick visit. They would be heading out to spend the day with his parents and could only stay long enough to say "Hi". So, after a brief visit, they left, as did Rachael and Jake, and I puttered in the kitchen trying to figure out if the turkey would be getting done too soon or too late.

When Rachael and Jake got back, Jake flopped on the couch again and Rachael went to work in the kitchen. Our kitchen is pretty tiny. Sometimes it feels too small for one person, so two people trying to cook and meet a deadline can be, shall we say, stressful. This was definitely the case- to the point where I felt my time was better spent sitting in the living room and staring at the rug.

Finally, we gathered at the table with our food. Like every year, we went around the table, each of us giving thanks before eating. Unlike every year, a member of the family wasn't able to be there. I must say that it came as no great surprise, indeed, I've been expecting it- for years. But that is not to say that I was prepared for either the profound sense of loss, or for the stark realization that the crowd around our too small dining room table would slowly be thinning out over the coming, not too distant years.

Before long, the meal was over. Rachael left to visit with some friends. Jake collapsed again on the couch, losing his struggle to fatigue and frustration. I would be bringing him back to school early the next morning. The deserts would stay uneaten on the porch where they had been left to cool.

With the house even quieter than it was before, I stood at the front door and stared out at the now greying sky and watched as the growing wind scattered the dry leaves away from the barren trees. As I stood there, I wondered what it was I was waiting for.

Holiday Shopping

Is there anything more depressing than being at the mall before it opens, waiting to do some Christmas shopping and listening to Christmas carols- alone?

No, there isn't.

Life Goes On

You would think in the three weeks or so since I last posted that I would have plenty to say. I don't. The sad thing is in all of that time, I've done nothing of interest. The weeks have been packed with exciting everyday activities such as: working, collecting the trash, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, trying to figure out what to make for dinner, grocery shopping, washing dishes, paying bills, and my personal favorite: trying to stay awake until bedtime. This time of year brings the added seasonal excitement of cleaning the gutters, raking leaves, and washing and putting in storm windows.

Part of my problem is I feel the last vestiges of Autumn slipping away and with it, the inevitable onset of winter. The holidays seem right around the corner and like every other year, I feel totally unprepared. All of this is driven home even harder by the time change last weekend that now allows it to get dark before dinnertime. Between the weight of winter approaching and the holidays, I feel like the walls are slowly closing in, and with them, all of the clutter.

Helaina, Jake and I picking up around the house.

The one bright spot in all of this is the family got to be together this weekend, albeit briefly. I picked Jake up mid-day Saturday. He spent the night which gave me time to run errands and go grocery shopping with him, and later, he helped me clean. Sam came along for our usual Saturday run of grocery shopping and getting pizza, while tying in a visit to the Rock and Mineral Show. Helaina swung by in the afternoon and visited and helped weed through the jackets that have building up over the last many years. And though Rachael worked most of the day on Saturday, there was an overlap at dinnertime that allowed me to cook for whomever was interested, before the girls ended up going in their separate directions.

Today, the weather was beautiful. Rachael left early for her commitments and I brought Jake back to school, reloaded with food and supplies to likely get him through the next couple of weeks until Thanksgiving. Helaina left for her apartment shortly after I got back.

And now, barely after 4:30, it's dark outside. The house is quite with everyone back to living in their own separate worlds.

And the walls are closing in.