The Morning Rain

The rain finally ended on my ride into work...

A Bit of Good News

Just got a phone call that Sam is accepted into the program for the coming school year. Many details, such as transportation, still need to be worked out, but I'm told those issues typically get addressed starting sometime around April or May. I feel relieved, but I'll feel even more relieved once the papers have been signed. Still...

Thank goodness.

A Little More of the Same

Sam was on vacation last week. Usually, I try to take a day off and spend it with him and I try to do something special -  to make him feel a little special. But with all of the time I’ve been taking up dealing with these other “behind the scenes” things, and all of the time they take up, I didn't feel I could afford a day off.

I feel kind of bad about it. Sam managed to make it out for an ice cream, so I guess that was good. I sure that's no problem as far as he's concerned. He loves being nothing more than being home. But it’s good for him to get out and a vacation should be a little more than that.

But he’s back to school this week and unlike me at his age, he seems fine with it.

For me, the last few days have been more of the same - lists of phone calls, and setting up, or trying to set up, meetings.

Yesterday, it was a phone call to the Special Ed director (IEP time is fast approaching) and a phone call to the person in charge of the program that I’m hoping to get him into next fall. Or rather, it was a call their voicemail.

Other than that, it was pretty light on the Sam front - just an evening of trying to weed through, and organize the mass of paperwork, after getting him some dinner. That, and trying to fight off sleep until a more acceptable nine o’clock.

Today, I managed to squeeze in another phone call to Sam’s special Ed Director (with some additional concerns and comments about the upcoming meeting), and I had a long, but inconclusive conversation with a lawyer about guardianship.

I have more calls to make, but for tomorrow, I’m hoping to keep it to just one. That one will be to the MRC - to let them know that I finally got all of the DDS forms filled out and sent out in the mail, and to see if we need to arrange another meeting.

And then I hope to be able to take a break for a day or two.

I still feel bad about that vacation - like I let him down. But at least, in a couple of nights, it will be Monk Night. That’s something we both look forward to. Then it will be another Saturday of running errands together and maybe we'll pick out another weekend baking project. It's not quite a vacation, but it's not too bad, either.

It's Worse Than I Thought

It just occurred to me that, other the that walk that I just went on with Sam, the only other recent highlight in my life was finding a decent toilet bowl brush.

First of the Year

Tonight, Sam and I went on our first official Walk Around the Block of the year. In truth, it was really a half of a Walk Around the Block. The lingering afternoon sunlight looked deceptively warm from the dining room table, so I asked Sam if he wanted to squeeze in a quick walk. He was all for it. We've been talking about looking forward to this for weeks.

So, we got on our jackets, but when we got outside, we found that the wind, which is not something you can see from the dining room table, was blowing gently, but steadily, and much colder than either of us expected. Half way around the block, with the wind still steadily at our faces, I asked Sam if we should turn around and head back home - or continue on. He wanted to continue on.

I told him the wind would be better when we rounded the corner, figuring that it wouldn't be blowing directly in our faces. I was wrong. And I was wrong on the next corner, too. No matter which direction we headed in, the wind was blowing in our faces.

This was like one of those magical grilling types of wind - where no matter where you stand, the smoke gets blown in your face. All that was missing was the smoke and the warmth and the burning sensation in the eyes. Other than that, it was exactly like it.

We got about half way around the block and I said to Sam, "Follow me" - and I proceeded to cut through the edge of someone's yard, to where it met a street parallel to ours.  "Good idea" said Sam, and he followed along behind me.

We turned at the end of the street and headed back towards our road and I noticed that one of Sam's shoes was untied. When I pointed it out to Sam, he said, "That's Ok. I'll get it when we get home." That's how you know when Sam's either cold, tired, in a hurry - or some combination of all three. He doesn't stop to do something that he habitually does.

But we made it home just fine and, despite the wind, it was nice to get outside. We've both been cooped up this week - in different places, for different reasons. And it was especially nice to get outside, together.

A Minor Update

I have been occupying my time lately with trying not to think about Sam's placement for next year. The meeting that was snowed out about a week or so ago, instead took place this past Friday. Everything seemed to go smoothly. The teachers were very nice and the program seemed as though it would be a very good fit for him - which is what is making me nervous. We're supposed to hear by the end of this week whether he'll be able to go or not. In the mean time, I won't be thinking about it.

Tonight's Video Clip

Be kind to yourself.

Saturday Afternoon Video

Snow Day

The phone rang this morning about five minutes before my alarm usually goes off. It jolted me out of an unusually deep sleep. It turned out to be one of those automated calls from Sam’s school. There was going to be a two hour delay at his school, “due to the storm and the untreated roads.” It didn't really matter. Sam wasn’t going to be going to today, anyway. Today was the day we were going to visit another school for a possible placement next year.

This visit had been in the works for quite some time. The program was first mentioned as a possibility at the IEP we had at the end of the previous school year. And then summer vacation came, and then school started, and new connections had to be made - until eventually, I had a conversation and an email telling me who to contact to set up this visit and this interview - but I couldn't do it until the end of the following month, since the people in the program had just gone on break. 

So, I had waited and then I called and I set up the visit. I was glad that the day was finally here. It’s been yet another week consumed with looking at guardianship options and alternatives, and arranging for the next IEP, and talking with the MRC and the AANE and the ARC. Another week of phone calls and meetings and emails, trying to move things forward. Another week of trying to educate myself so I can try to address issues for Sam, now that he is an adult. Another week of trying to figure work towards transitioning to … somewhere. 

But today was his visit to a potential placement for next year. It felt good to finally be going. It would feel even better to finally get one of these issues resolved and taken off the table, to feel like we were making progress. To feel like I was finally making some progress towards helping Sam. 

I hung up the phone and debated about going back to sleep, but I figured by the time I managed to fall asleep, it would be too close to the time I would have to get up and get ready to leave. So, I got up and went downstairs stairs at pretty much my usual time - just after five a.m. 

As I passed the front door, I noticed there wasn't a speck of snow on the ground, which was fine by me. The school we were going to is about thirty five miles away, and since it is pretty much a straight shot by way of the highway, it’s about a thirty five minutes minute drive. I figured that since the program is at a college, I would have to add a few minutes to find the right building, and maybe, since we were going to be leaving during morning rush hour, or shortly thereafter, maybe I should add a few more minutes, just in case. 

So I figured, lets call it fifty minutes. That meant, even allowing for time to get dressed and eat, Sam could sleep later than usual, for a school day, that is. I checked my email and had some coffee and read the news. And I got Sam’s breakfast prepped so it would be ready for when I heard him stir, or when I would have to wake him up. 

It was at about this time that I noticed that it had started to snow. There was a dusting over the cars that, while not very heavy, was heavier than I would have expected it the short amount of time that passed since the last time I had looked out. I went online to check for closings and delays. Sam’s school was listed, as were a few others in our county. But the program we were visiting was in a neighboring county, and when I checked those listings, there were about ten times as many listed as there were around us. 

The phone rang again and it was another automated call, again from Sam's school. The two hour delay had turned into a closing, due to “multiple accidents” on another highway close by. I went back to the listings and now, the public schools were closed in the town we were heading to - but the college, apparently, remained open. 

The snow was still coming down at a pretty good clip. We don’t live on a major road, so it’s hard to tell what the road conditions are just by looking out the window. But, clearly, the driving wasn't going to be good. I was going to have to plan on leaving earlier than I expected, if we were going to be leaving at all. I was going to wake up Sam, but first, I figured I would call the program to see if someone could tell me what was going on. When I called, I got the answering machine, so I left a message telling them who I was and why I was calling, and I told them when I was planning on leaving, figuring someone could call me and tell me not to come, or to turn around and go back. 

By this time, Sam was awake and downstairs. I told him the new plan and gave him his breakfast and I went out the shovel the heavy and wet snow that was now about three or four inches deep. By the time I was done, it was time to go. 

The drive was everything I expected, and more- slow and very, very slippery. Our road wasn’t plowed, which is no big surprise. As I mentioned, we’re not on a main road. But none of the roads we drove on looked as though they had been plowed - including the on-ramp to the highway, and including the highway itself. 

There were almost no cars in sight when we're first headed out, but little by little, more cars joined us in the now blinding snow. None of us, except the occasional tractor trailer truck, went much over forty. As bad as the snow was, I dint’t see one plow on our way to the college. 

As we approached the college entrance. There, up ahead were the flashing lights of a police car -barely visible through the falling snow. The police car was right at the entrance of the college and at first I thought he was blocking it off. But as I got closer, I could see that he was waiting for a tow truck to remove the car that wasn’t able to negotiate the turn into the school, and instead was straddling the median strip at the entrance. 

We turned into the college and nearly ended up on the median, too.  Creeping down the snaking college driveway, I almost lost control of the car several times, despite our five mile per hour sprint. We found the building and a parking spot in the unplowed lot, not too far from away. 

The wind had picked up, so it was tough to say if the snow was falling any harder or not, but it sure looked worse and it definitely felt worse. After a slippery walk to the building, we went inside and up to the room where we were supposed to meet. The room was dark, which wasn’t a good sign. 

Still, despite the nearly hour and twenty minute drive, we were about ten minutes early. We waited a few more minutes and the I went out to the hall. Diagonally across from the room was a small office. Inside the office, directly in front of the door, sat a young woman at small reception-type desk. Next to her, at another desk, was a man who was engaging the young woman in a conversation about the lousy weather. They both turned and spotted me at the same time, and both smiled. The woman asked if there was something she could help me with, and I told her what I was there for. They both stopped smiling and exchanged worried glances. 

It seems that the person we were supposed to meet was usually there by now, but nobody had seen them. A call was made to someone downstairs and someone downstairs said they had seen the someone we were looking for. The young woman went downstairs to find them while the gentleman made a call to see if the program “was even open today”. After a few minutes, he hung up the phone, apparently getting the same answering machine that I had earlier. 

By now, the young woman had returned and told us that, as near as everyone could tell, the instructor wasn’t there today. Not only was the instructor not there, but neither was the class that the missing instructor would be instructing. The program, it was guessed, while housed at the college, was likely affiliated with the public schools. And the public schools in this town, as they told me, and as I had seen online earlier, were all closed due to the storm. 

I thanked them both for their help, and despite everything else, I felt that at least, if Sam was able to go here, it’s comforting to know that there were such friendly and helpful people that were around. 

I went outside to try to make one last attempt at a phone call, though I’m not sure why. The man upstairs had just tried, with no more success than I had earlier. But, whether due to the storm or our location, I couldn’t get a signal. So, a slippery walk was made, back through the still falling snow, back to the car, where we sat and got warm while the windows defogged. 

For whatever reason, location I guess, my phone was able to get a signal, and I made that one more vain attempt at a phone call. I told the same answering machine what time it was and where I was and that we would wait there for another ten more minutes in hopes of hearing from someone. We waited for five minutes, and the we left. 

The road leading out was even more slippery than when we drove in, but the police car was gone and so was the car that had been lodged on the median. We continued to a set of lights where we could barely stop, and once we did, we could barely get going again. Further down the road and heading down an unfortunate hill, was the left we needed to take to get onto the ramp which would head us back up to the highway. 

Even though we were barely moving, stopping was difficult. Stopping and turning was even more so. But we made the turn, as sloppy as it was, and we managed to funnel onto the ramp and we crept back onto the highway. 

The drive home was about as bad as the drive down - but with more traffic. Somewhere up ahead and nearly home, there must have been snowplows or an accident or both. Traffic was getting slower and more congested. Thankfully our exit was just up ahead. Even more thankfully it turns out, because after the exit after ours, the highway was completely shut down “due to multiple accidents”. 

Back at home, we shoveled one more time and then we went indoors, where we dropped our wet gloves and boots by the heaters, and I pulled out some frozen soup from the freezer, and heated it up for lunch. 

I poured a bowl of soup for Sam and as he ate I got a phone call from the MRC and we talked about where I was at with the forms for the DDS and we talked about the IEP meeting we needed and we talked about arranging our next meeting at the offices of the MRC. We decided to hold off on that meeting until Sam can visit the program that we tried in vain to visit today. 

I told her that I would be in touch, and after I hung up,I made a note to remind myself to call the MRC once that visit happened, and I made another note to call the program on Monday to set up that other visit. And I thought about how good it would feel to finally be able to visit and how I hope it will work out and how nice it would feel to finally get at least one thing resolved and to feel like I was finally making some progress towards helping Sam.