Sweet Dreams!

Have a child that's afraid of the dark? What better way to comfort them than switching on a night light that looks like a jar full of bees?

The Downfall of Western Civilization

What is the point of this? The opening at the flip-top is almost exactly the same size as the opening in the top of the jar, so what purpose does it serve? Why introduce this? Could it be because we are so in love with our fake bacon bits that we are not willing to spend the extra 2.5 seconds that it takes to unscrew the lid (I timed it)? Or perhaps there is some segment of the human population that has lobbied the fake bacon bit industry because they don’t know how to unscrew jars and they are therefore being unfairly discriminated against in their love for fake bacon bits.

Maybe this large opening is just the beginning. Maybe the fake bacon bit industry is starting off with a large opening, hoping to dupe the American People into thinking "No big deal", while planning on making it smaller each year, figuring that we won't notice. Is this an attempt, by way of some foolish government mandate, to interfere with our Constitutionally Protected Right to consume fake bacon bits?

What is wrong with this damn country?

Movies I Won't Be Seeing

I don't really care one way or the other about  Dolly Parton or Queen Latifah. The little I know of them, they seem like fine, even funny, people... at least when they're not in movies. But I can't for the life of me figure out who would want to go see their movie "Joyful Noise". Who the hell is going to shell out whatever it is to go to a movie nowadays and sit through all 118 minutes of this? I'm not sure why, but I feel like this movie is designed to appeal to the same crowd that has forced movie theaters to offer big plates of nachos as a snack.

Are glee clubs still 'in"? This concept strikes me like it's trying to jump on the "Glee" bandwagon. The problem is I think that bandwagon left town about a year and a half ago. I also take issue with the name, "Joyful Noise". It seems, at the least, misleading. But I guess maybe they're half right. From what I've heard on the TV commercial (which played about 30 times in the two hours I was watching TV), it sounded "joyful" in the same way that a high pitched dentist drill sounds joyful. A dentist drill that needs oil. A lot of oil. As it's boring into your jaw.

The movie's description on Yahoo! begins with this nugget: "The small town of Pacashau, Georgia, has fallen on hard times, but the people are counting on the Divinity Church Choir to lift their spirits by winning the National Joyful Noise Competition." Gee, I wonder how this movie is going to end? How. Will. It. End??? Another ad for this suspenseful drama is proclaiming it as the "feel good movie of the year." Considering this is only mid-January, I don't imagine the competition is all that stiff... though I expect that chipmunk movie is probably giving them a run for their money.

Even more of a puzzler is trying to figure out who would put up the money to make this future classic. I went back to Yahoo! and apparently there are close to 35 businesses that comprise the "production company" that's responsible for this. Is it normal for this many companies to be involved, or are there so many because they could only get a couple of bucks from each of them? And for some odd reason, two of these companies are something called "Mario's Catering." Why do they get double billing? Was there one there for Dolly and another one for Queen?

I can't do this justice. You need to read the full, breathtaking description here. Make sure you don't skip the second paragraph that introduces the character named "Randy" (subtle), and the "friction" (their word, not mine) that ensues. One warning though: if you do decide to go see it, be careful. It's rated PG-13, due in part to "a sexual reference". Oooo. I'm guessing it has something to do with "Randy".

Tools of the Trade

Today was a "Shop Day" for Sam at the Tech School, and like I do every day, I asked him how his day went. "Good", was the response. Again, pretty much like every day. This is usually just the opener. We both knew the hard part was coming next: trying to get some of the details.

This can be a little tricky. Sam's come a long way, but his vocabulary can be limited and word retrieval can be really hard for him. I want to encourage him and I want him to take some risks, but I don't want it to be a complete exercise in frustration for him.

"So, what did you do?", I ask
His face gets that stressful look. "Well...", he says, thinking. "We got to make some pine cone bird feeders!"
"Oh, that's great." I said.
"Uh huh, yeah, and I got to use one of those thingys", he says, making a squeezing motion with his hand. "I never thought I would get to use one of those! You know, you put the metal things in it?" He pinches his fingers and makes a couple of short, drawn out motions.

I have no idea what he's talking about and judging by the look on his face, it must be evident by the look on mine. So I try to act nonchalant. I try to get him to take his time.

"I forget the name." he says, "I think it has 'frog' in it."

Frog in it? Now I'm really lost. I try to make a couple of guesses, but I'm wrong and he's clearly getting a little frustrated at trying to find the words. "You know, it holds things together" he says. I make another guess or two, but I'm wrong again.

Finally, I suggest that he draws a picture. As he starts drawing, it immediately becomes clear.
"Oh", I say, "a rivet gun!"
"Yeah!", says Sam.

Sam's "Ribbet" Gun

Now I get the 'frog' part.

Cutting Edge News

I used to find interesting news links and political comment in The Huffington Post. It's still in there to some extent, but the site is a lot more lame than it used to be. I'm not sure why this has happened. Maybe it's a side effect of being bought by AOL and if it is, I wonder: is it deliberate or sheer ineptitude.

This is a screen capture of the top headlines showing up in my news reader this morning:

Headline of the Day

I can't wait to get home so I can read about "Kim K's Bold New Look" !!!!

Happy New Year

I have officially entered my post holiday depression. What better time to start putting away the Christmas decorations? I always hate doing this. And I know I'm going to hate doing it as I'm putting them out in the first place. But back then I figure "Hey, that's a whole month away! Christmas is coming!"

Now the month has come and gone. Everyone has headed in their separate directions.

Blah.