Friday Night Video

Let's watch some commercials. These happen to be of toys that I owned when I was little.

First off we have  "Creepy Crawlers". This is not the newer "safe" version of a few years ago. This is the original, fun version- with the highly toxic "Goop" that you cooked in a mold over a 500 degree hotplate. My brother had this before I did. He cooked up lizards and bugs which he stuck to the ceiling and hid under pillows. One time, on April Fool's Day, he pinned them to my Dad's hat before Dad left for work. Dad played along.



Next up is some Zero M spy gear, also from Mattel. I got the radio/ rifle along with a camera/pistol for one of my birthdays. I loved them. I loved them to the point where one of the neighbor girls suggested I give it a rest and knock it off. Naturally, I took if for the sign of jealousy that it was, and continued to rub it in.

I also remember testing how powerful the barrel of the rifle would snap into position by holding it against my bedroom window and flicking the switch. Flash forward to me and Dad at the hardware store getting my broken window replaced.



This next one is one of my all time favorites: Major Matt Mason. I was in fifth grade when these came out. I remember telling Mom that I wanted one for my birthday. Mom wasn't too familiar with them and looked for them at the store. When she came back, she asked me if I meant one of "those dolls". Uncool. The term "action figure" hadn't been invented yet, so I didn't know exactly what to call them, but I knew what they weren't, and they weren't dolls.

The first "figures" I had came with the moon walker and a jet pack and a radiation suit. Later, I got the ultimate component, the space station. Very cool.



Last but not least is a toy my sister Sandy had: "Chatty Cathy". This thing registers about an eleven on the creep-out scale. I don't know which came first, this abomination or the Twilight Zone's "Talky Tina". Either way, they are definitely a product of the same inbred family. See for yourself:

Exhibit A:


Exhibit B:


With that, until next time, goodnight.