Even though her arrival is five days away, I've taken to carrying Rachael’s flight itinerary around in my back pocket. This is after having printed it out at least three times previously. If I didn't fear I would jinx things, I would mention how much I am looking forward to the whole family being together. But I don’t want to admit it, even to myself- especially to myself, for fear that something will go wrong.
I’m not sure why this is or where it comes from, but I have a pretty good idea. In fact, I've written about it more than once, but have never gone through with publishing it. It’s too much of a downer and doesn't fit well with the “tone” of this blog (such as it is).
For now, I’ll keep sitting tight with the growing knot in my stomach, while trying to convince myself that it’s no big deal and continue to lie to myself that I’m taking things in stride.
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