Preoccupied

A week ago last Thursday, I received a letter from SSI, informing  me that I need to report to their office for a meeting on the nineteenth of this month. According to the letter, “We need information from you to make sure you are still eligible.” According to the letter, the window for this meeting is somewhere between nine o’clock in the morning and three o’clock in the afternoon. Even my cable guy narrows it down better than this. 

The letter also gives me a name and a number to call if I have any questions. I have questions - and so far, I’ve called twice, left messages, and haven't received any call back. I'll keep trying.

My first question is, is Sam supposed to come along with me? This letter is very specifically addressed to me. Unlike all of the previous correspondence from SSI, there is no mention of Sam’s name anywhere on this letter. And unlike some of the past correspondence, Sam hasn't received his own copy of this letter. All of this is especially weird because, technically, they should be making sure that Sam is still eligible, not me.

Which brings me to the second question. Sam was found to be eligible for SSI four months ago. In the last four months, do they think that Sam has become less autistic? Do they that think all of his challenges have gone away? What has changed to make them think that Sam may no longer be eligible? (I guess that’s really three questions.)

And finally, if they need any additional information, is there some way we can narrow this down? I have three large binders, along with multiple folders and envelopes - each of them filled with information relating to Sam. I don’t think it’s practical, let alone useful, for me to bring all of it to the meeting. And even if I did, something tells me that I would have everything I need - except what they’re asking for.

I haven’t been under the illusion that things were completely smooth sailing, SSI-wise. It seems that every couple of weeks I receive something in the mail that makes more waves. But even without all of that, there are still so many areas that are completely vague to me, that I live in near constant fear that I am somehow screwing things up - all to Sam’s detriment. 

This letter feeds directly into these fears. 

Up until now, I was hoping, foolishly, that somewhere, at some point, calmer seas lay ahead.