Twenty-Six Years Ago

As I look out of the window, the snow is coming down. We already have plenty of snow on the ground and this storm is supposed to bring plenty more. They’re predicting a blizzard for today and it’s supposed to last well into the night- possibly into tomorrow. It was like this twenty-six years ago, almost to the day. If this were here yesterday, then it would be right on the money.

Twenty-six years ago, we lived in a second floor walk-up apartment with a large horseshoe driveway, which was set behind a row of houses off of the main row. It was a Friday, and we were trying to come back home from a doctor’s appointment. Helaina had been due to be born two weeks earlier, but apparently was so comfortable, she had decided she wasn’t going anywhere. The Doctor had decided that Monday would be the day, whether Helaina agreed or not.

We made it back as far as the driveway, where the car got stuck in the deep, still blowing snow. Suzanne walked the rest of the way to the apartment, and I, with the help of a neighbor, managed to shovel the car out of the snow and make the rest of the way up the long driveway. I spent the remainder of the day shoveling- which was a good thing, since it helped me keep my mind off of Monday’s coming events. Almost.

I don’t know whether it was the long walk up to the apartment or the threat of Monday’s appointment, but at about two o’clock Saturday morning, Helaina felt that the time was right for her to finally make an appearance. Our driveway had been plowed by this point, and so had the roads. But the road plow had left a solid bank of snow at the foot of our driveway about waist high. I gunned the car and plowed ahead. Whether we made it through the snow or over it, I'm not sure, but either way, we were on the road- making the five hundred yard trip to the hospital.

I stayed at the hospital for a couple of hours before they sent me home. They told me it was going to be awhile, and they were right. I came back later that morning and by Saturday afternoon, at about 4:30, they decided they were taking Helaina by Cesarean. This had been unplanned to the point where the nurses didn’t have time to set up a tent to block my view. They brought me in and told me if I moved an inch off the stool, they would kick me out. They didn’t need to worry.

It was the strangest sensation to see Helaina appear out of the low ring of bloody towels and hear this strange little cry that broke the steady beeping of the heart monitor and the low murmur of the doctors’ chatter. The nurse wiped her off and brought her over to me with a reminder of “Don’t get off the chair, Dad.” And I didn’t, but this time, I had almost forgotten.

I remember the feeling when they handed her to me. It was like a revelation. I felt that I had been waiting for this little thing my whole life- and I never knew it until this moment.

Later on, I called Mom and Dad to give them the news. There had been bets in the family as to whether it was going to be a boy or a girl. I was pretty sure it was going to be a girl. It wasn’t like I had any inside information, it was only a guess. But the blue bassinet won out. When I called, Dad answered and I gave him the news. I remember saying, “... and she has a cute little round face.” And Dad said, “Oh, just like Suzanne.”

I left later that night and drove to Mom and Dad’s before heading home. They were both up in their bedroom in their PJ’s and both glad to see me. Dad gave me a pat on the back and ended up handing me a little windup toy of a couple of walking feet that happened to be on his bureau. I’m not sure why. I guess he felt he had to give me something.

The next day, I went to the hospital for an extended visit. I spent most of the day holding Helaina. I remember rocking her as I stood and looked out the window at the freshly fallen snow. The sky was crystal blue and the snow sparkled in the bright sun. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day.