How I Spend My Time - Part I (2020 Edition)

I've been struggling off and on all week to write something about Sam's visit with his friend at the mall last Sunday - and I keep getting wrapped up in too many details about it - details that are important but in trying to cover all the ground, ultimately, it goes nowhere. But before I give up entirely, I wanted to say how enjoyable it’s been to see Sam connect to a peer - and connect on his level.

Last Sunday was the third time in his many months that Sam and his friend, along with me and his friend’s mom, have gotten together in as many months. The first two times, the boys got together to go bowling. On Sunday, they went bowling again, but unlike the last two times, this time it was at the mall. Afterwards, they went through the arcade together, then we all walked around for a bit

Along with it being enjoyable, it was interesting and gratifying to watch them and to help with interaction and communication between the two of them - especially since the two of them are not big communicators to begin with. (At least, Sam isn’t - and his friend seems to be very much the same.)

What was particularly interesting was the time the four of us spent walking around together, and helping these guys to connect on things where they seemed to feel the same way about something, but were sometimes missing cues from the other.

I won’t get into a lot, if any, detail - or I’ll never get this posted - but to offer a very poor analogy... at times it felt like his mom was on one side of them and I was on the other, and it was like the two of us were trying to gently fan two balloons, which at times were drifting near each other - but weren't quite connecting. It was more guiding than directing. I don't know how to explain it. It's something I can't quite articulate.

Whatever you call it, it was so nice to see them connecting.

As nice as the day was, maybe the most gratifying part of the day came later in the evening. When it got closer to bedtime. Sam got up to take his shower but before going upstairs, he stopped, thought for just a second, then said, “I had a good day today." And then he headed upstairs.

It’s very unusual for Sam to offer something like this unprompted, so this was a very big deal - a big deal - for the both of us. We both had a good day.